Baby Sitting

I need to apologize now for any past or future baby sitters. I have the hardest time leaving my kids. I might be one of the most annoying parents.

It's not that I don't trust the baby sitter. Because I do.

It's not that I worry about the kids. I know they are fine.

It's not that I miss them. It's nice to get away now and again.

It's not that I think I am the only one who knows what to do. I don't most of the time.

It's not that I feel guilty being away. Because I don't.

It's that I know how much work those kids are and I worry that I have become a burden for the person watching my kids. I worry more about the adult than I do the kids.

I call too much and I rush to get back. Whenever I talk to who ever is watching the kids they are always fine. I mean I survive everyday, why is it that I think another adult can't.

It doesn't matter who it is, I worry about being a burden. I guess I have this mentality of, I birthed them so I had better take care of them. It's my job and my responsibility. It's fun when they are good but it's hard when they aren't. Now how many kids show their true colors to anyone but their mom? I don't even like asking anyone to watch them. Only in a pinch will I ask for help. Part of this could be my whole, I can do it myself, mentality.

I need to let it go. I think my kids like it when I am gone. They need a break too.