The lost me

I used to be on the ball. For most things I would say. Now I forget most things and feel flustered most of my days. I have been losing things lately. I think one of the biggest things lost would be me.

One of Jerry's aunts asked me if I was already done Christmas shopping. I almost died laughing. Now the old me, that could have been a possibility. The new me, the one with 3 kids, no way. My wheels have been spinning since April.

I can't get anything cleaned up. And as soon as I do, it's ruined with in minutes. I think I might have thought I was invincible, now I know I am not. I am the barely showered frazzled scream at your kids mom you see everywhere. I am sure one day I will find myself again. But for now, we are just surviving.

The Great Destroyers

Pick an item, any item. Chances are my kids have ruined it.

Food processor, yup.

Ear phones in car, you bet!

Soccer ball, why not?

They either stick things in their mouth, pick them apart, use them wrong, or let a dog get to it.

This makes me nervous with the new birthday presents. I am hoping 5 years is going to be a new leaf in James's life. No more destroying things.

DRAMA

As I get older I get to experience different kinds of drama. Sometimes it's with in my own family and sometimes it extends to further out to different branches of my family. Drama with in your family comes and goes, sure it can be awkward for awhile but everyone loves each other so you move on. The drama I really hate is the stuff that come from work, school, etc.

I had some drama at the preschool the other day that was unsettling to me. I realized that if everybody would just use their words it wouldn't be drama. People start to get upset and they don't hear what you are saying. Nor do they tell you what is really upsetting them.

I really wish that anytime something was upsetting we could all just use our words. I would appreciate the people around me saying "hey I don't like that" or "that hurts my feelings". Instead for what ever reason we skate around not communicating and we end up not liking people.

Yesterday I had my hair done, I had in my mind the hairdresser taking off an inch to a inch and a half. She took off over 3 inches. After I saw how much she was cutting I got upset. It ruined the rest of the three hours I spent there. I do love how my color turned out. But I am considering finding someone new who wont just cut how they want to. What I really should have done is tell her right away. "You cut too much off and I am upset." I should have used my words. But now I have this internal struggle with my feelings and the other person has no clue.

I wish that anytime I upset a person they would just tell me. I think I would be a better person for knowing how I have bothered someone. I wish I could as well communicate with those people who upset me.

Now to avoid some DRAMA I am going to go clean James' room when he is at school. This is the only way to get rid of broken toys without drama.

Little Cutie Syndrome

I have lost control over my two year old. I think, she thinks, she is too cute for rules. Her father and I have quit thinking she was cute awhile ago. Everyday I hear she is cute. I am not bragging. I am concerned. Because she hears it too. The other moms at the preschool don't believe she is as bratty as she is. She has the whole game figured out. Be cute and sweet in front of others and a tyrant at home.

Today alone she was put on time out at least 10 times. Nothing phases her. We need to find the worst possible punishment for her. Because she really doesn't care. She gives this look like "I am cute and that's all I need." Monster.

She fights with the best of them and sharing is not her forte. Jerry reminds me that she is just two. But I am seriously worried.

Attack of the Fashionistas

I thought I was lucky until recently. So far my kids come to me and I put their clothes on them. But lately they have opinions. James is very particular about his shirts. Hannah wants to wear a dress almost every day. So she goes to school in jeans, a long sleeve shirt and a dress over it. All that matters is that they are warm and safe right?

This just means I have more laundry to do. Keeping up the demands with fashionistas is difficult. It has even spilled over into PJ's tonight two separate meltdowns over what I was stuffing them into.

They have to have control over something in their life right?

random bits

Had to change up the color scheme to go with the season. Besides the pink was a bit too much.

Why every night do I have to wake up at 1 to pee and 4 to lay there for the next couple of hours?

I need some new recipes.

Almost 4 year olds are fun.

I can not keep my house clean.

Candy is my enemy.

The question "why" hasn't gone away yet.

This election is still driving me crazy.

I love that the weather is changing.

I like being busy.

The Switch is On

Hannah and James are in transition. You see at all time one of my kids is going through a naughty faze while the other is being for the most part good. Well is getting ready for her turn at naughty. She is harder to deal with because she whines and cries instead of using her words. Lately she just won't listen, so she is getting lots of 3,2,1's.

I also realize this is an age appropriate behavior, or at least I can tell myself that. Because about half of her class doesn't listen either. Since I am a firm believer in saying twice then moving the child and I can't do that at school with other people's children, I am at a loss at what to say to these kids. However the teacher did step in and help me and moved another two year old for me. Preschool teacher are saints and don't get paid enough.

However on the bright side when James has his turn at being the "good" one he is absolutely wonderful to be around and I look forward to his sweetness coming forward more.

crazy busy

We have been crazy busy lately. Both with fun stuff and work. Which by the way according to James I don't work. This is debatable for both sides.

I have been doing some fun projects, ones Jerry would usually do. Things like climbing ladders, hanging stuff (chandeliers, motion detectors, misters, etc.), going to Lowes 3 times a day. You see we have to let his back heal so I get to do anything that may not work out so well for him. He has to push me too, I don't like ladders at all. To hang our new chandelier he tied two ladders together and made me climb them. I wasn't happy. But I wired it and hung it and now it sits very pretty over my dining room table.

Other things include, new doctors appointments, Hannah weighs all of 23 lbs, she is at 5% of her age. Her height is around 75%, so long and lean I guess. James is 36 lbs together they are 59 lbs of fun loving joy.

We are having an issue with our back wall neighbor, hopefully it just goes away.

Just lots of fun stuff.

Rain, packing & other things

Our beautiful snow has turned into rain. Last night I seriously started thinking about an evacuation plan. I couldn't believe how much rain we got. Its great for aquifers and all, but it sets in some serious cabin fever and lazy behaviour for me.

My little boy is going crazy he has been couped up and his volume level has been turned to high as a result.

Little peanut girl has just caught something that has given her a fever, runny nose and a horse voice.

We are headed up to Mammoth tomorrow. So in my infinite wisdom I decided I would do all the laundry and pack and clean the house in one day. WELL, this doesn't go great with a lazy mood. Packing has turned into - grab this biggest suitcases we have and just stuff them with anything we may possibly need. Which is Jerry style and very much not Stephanie style. I am sooo over it.

I am looking forward to tumbling down some hills, I have great skiing skills. My husband is a good supporter of the un-athletic monkey woman. It's fun to spend the time together. I laugh though because I wear his old ski stuff and it looks like he has a man partner skiing with him and he must get some funny looks when I hug him. So he decided I needed pink goggles to offset the manliness that is his wife.

Garth Brooks

The other day I was listening to the radio and the DJ was talking about Mr brooks coming to LA. In the best of thoughts I decided I would get Jerry tickets to this concert for Christmas, even though we said no presents this year. Because I know if there was ever anyone he would want to see it would be Garth Brooks. So I remembered this morning to try and get some. I knew I had dial up against me but I had the power of positive thinking behind me. So I click find just at the clock hit 9:00. SOLD OUT, What? So I try several more times then I get mad and give up. This concert is all the talk on the radio and even with family who also tried to get some tickets. How a benefit concert with $40 tickets sold out so fast and how the tickets are now way, way above that on ebay. So I tell Jerry how I failed him as a wife and that he really won't be getting a Christmas present this year after all. Well, I guess we are giving each other a well. But back to my tale of tickets. So I get home tonight check out ticket master and low and behold they have added concerts. I get all excited and think this is my chance. Do they have 2 tickets anywhere for the LAST SHOW? no. Do they have 1? Yes, so in my brilliance I think I will just buy 1 and 1 and we don't have to sit together. Well I buy 1 and go back for my next and what happened? SOLD OUT, AGAIN! Oh man. So now I have 1 ticket. So either Jerry is going by himself or I am trying to scalp my ticket at 1:00 on the 26th. I am sooo naive. Rookie concert attender here for sure.

I don't want to hear it

No Its Mine! Ooh if I hear this phrase out of little boy any more, I am going to loose it. He has been extra naughty lately. Tantrums & everything. It makes me have to step up my game.